A Messy Life

Dirty Rosie

Rosie: “I swear Mum, the dirt just jumped on me!”

Some personality types love adventure and mess and hate sameness and certainty. Others like to know everything before it happens.

The first like being out of control and the second like to be in control.

But control is an illusion. Are we ever truly in control of our lives? You know, that light at the end of the tunnel that turns out to be a train…

For most of my life I was the control freak. Being helpless to childhood abuse, I grew up with a desperate need to control everything and everyone so that I wouldn’t get hurt again. But I still did, of course.

And I spent a whole lot more energy trying to  micro-manage every tiny thing than if I had just been able to let go and cruise more.

Now, in my 50’s, I am finally learning the joy of letting go of expectations, of accepting what is and going with the flow.

It is incredibly freeing and it affects every aspect of my life; my health, my writing and especially my horses. They LOVE it when I come out to them with no agenda and just hang out or sit on them while they eat without having to “train” and control them.

Run in the rain, play hookie, or roll in the mud like a happy dog. It all washes off in the end anyway.

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